Here’s an exercise for the physically unfit: Start with a 2 kg bag of potatoes in each hand. Stretch your arms outward, hold them for one minute, then release them. After a few weeks, switch to 5 kg potato bags. Then try the same thing with 10 kg bags of potatoes after another week. Finally, try with a 20 kg potato sack in each hand, stretching your arms outward for more than a minute. When you feel comfortable at this level, put a potato in each bag.

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. She cannot take a medical history of her patients. She just has to know.

A friend woke up this morning coughing a lot, I think he may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it's hard to say.

A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. He said he could feel it in his bones.

I asked a veterinarian if he could give me something for my liver. He gave me half a kilo of onions.

I tried to play hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.

A man shouts frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!' 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asks. 'No, you idiot!' the man shouts. 'This is her husband!'

Doctor jokes are pretty popular in English, perhaps as popular as lawyer jokes. I don't think I've heard too many of either in French. One of the best ways to consolidate your skills in the language you're learning is to master jokes in that language, your target language. They will quickly show you double meaning and plays on words.

Word or expression In French In English
Fit Il n'est pas en forme He isn't fit
To stretch Veuillez tendre votre bras gauche Please stretch out your left arm
Upward Turn your face upward Tournez le visage vers le haut
Medical/Health/Case history Utilisez S.A.M.P.L.E pour les anamnèse Use S.A.M.P.L.E for case histories
Liver Le café est bon pour le foie Coffee is good for the liver
ICU [intensive care unit] Il est en soins intensifs avec la Covid He's in ICU with Covid

Pain jokes

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